Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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