hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
