butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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