He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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