the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
