I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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