You just made me feel so damn special
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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