sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
false alarm, still single
Randomize
