apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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