we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
