life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
