Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
