Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
