Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize