I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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