I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
