im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
