the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
