I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
