I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
