relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
