Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
