If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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