I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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