he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
