If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ladies don't puke and tell
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
