office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
