no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
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