i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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