Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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