your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
