Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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