I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
