The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
do nipples grow back?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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