My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
