I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize