I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
