It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
no you cant smoke seaweed
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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