she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize