she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
