Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize