you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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