My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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