Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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