life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
