It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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