somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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