Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
