cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
