called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
