Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
