I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize