i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize