It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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