she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize