scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
