I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
