Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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