I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
