Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
