I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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