just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
