ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
